It’s interesting to me how many people think that when they become believers and they choose what they’re going to do - what God has called them to do – that the trials and tribulations go away. That’s just not the case.

When I’ve experienced many of mine, it’s been a heartache time, absolutely, but I think at the time when we experience trials, what’s really cool about it is the reason why we shift to that joy is because those are the moments when God proves Himself again to us over and over. Those are the times when we see the faithfulness of Christ come through when we’re just not up to the task.

That’s what it was like in my life. Every trial I went through, and every time I decided that I was not going to listen to Satan’s voice that told me to give up, God pulled out some miracle of His working that would not only allow me to get closer to Him, but also allow me to become a more effective tool for Him. That’s why this verse in the book of James is so very true. 

I’ve had a couple of huge trials in my life that made me completely turn to Him for His reply. In the course of both small and large trials, God always provided the answers for me. 

When I was in college, I held onto a pride issue for a long time. I was a pretty good ball player and that was where I found my worth - when I stepped on the court. I could beat everybody out there. To me that’s what made me special and that’s what made me somebody that people wanted to hang around, I thought. I wasn’t living a bad life at the time, but it definitely was not one that was sold out to Jesus.

I walked onto the court to play one night and got into a game where I thought I could hang out, have fun, talk trash, and all that type of stuff. I also thought I was in control of my own life, that I didn’t need anyone to watch my back because I’ve got it. I just don’t need any help here, I’ve got it covered. Then suddenly the lights went black and I woke up in an ambulance with my face broken in a million pieces.

I had to really take a good look into what I thought my priorities were, and had to take a really good look at everything that I had thought about having my own back and being able to handle my own life. I think God knew it was going to take something that drastic for me to get serious about my relationship with Him. I went though the next six weeks letting my face heal, allowing the swelling to go down, and then I had to go back in and have my face rebroken. Those healing weeks were some of the most awful pain I’ve ever felt in my life.

They had me on some pretty stout drugs to help me handle the pain and then before I knew it I couldn’t sleep without them and I had to break that.

The idea that I was in control and that I was able to provide for my future, or even in my every day life, was quickly beginning to fade away. I went through a lot of moments when I really started to recognize that I almost ceased to exist.

You know the funny thing is I’ve always played the game with a certain intensity, whether I was in a heated game or not, when the game was over I was always able to shake hands and walk off. In fact, I didn’t even know the reason for my face being broken until a couple days afterwards when I found out that I was assaulted on the court. 

I woke up in the hospital and I thought I had taken an inadvertent elbow or something because I’ve been in many games where it got rough or I’ve had my face cut open before by an elbow.

I think it was two days later when I was in my dorm just lying around because I couldn’t do anything since my face was swollen. A cop showed up, knocked on the door and asked me what happened. I told him I didn’t know, and he asked me if I had an altercation with anybody. I said no. Then he asked if I was in a heated game with anybody and I mentioned this one guy.

The officer had about a hundred student cards with him because to get into the gym you had to give your student card. He kept them all and showed them to me and we flipped through them and I pointed out the guy.

I told him it was a pretty heated game and he told me I was running down the court and after I had passed the ball this guy came up behind me. I never saw him coming, then he hit me. I landed in somebody’s lap and blood went all over them and it freaked them out so much that they came in to the police station and reported it. He told me another ten people came in and reported what they saw, that it was an assault, so they arrested the guy the next day. I had no idea.

I talked to many doctors and found out if he would have hit me just a little bit different the lights would have went out for good. That was an eye-opener for me. It was like, ok, you’d been living with yourself now for 19, 20 years, and there’s nothing there to leave. Let’s have a legacy after this life’s over, so if something like this happens again, there’ll be a legacy that points straight to Christ. Let’s make sure that I’ve affected people’s lives with His life.

I wasn’t doing that at the time, so all of a sudden - because I live what I believe – with a life that points straight to Christ, we can encourage a younger person to do the very same thing, so when we’re gone, that younger person is encouraging somebody else to live the same thing. Your legacy lives on as part of the eternal picture.

That’s when my life turned.

That’s where I’ve been at ever since.
 

There’s another big trial that tested me with a huge decision on my part. It seems that a lot of my major decisions in life were because of certain trials. All along, it was God directing my path.

My mom and dad are just amazing believers in the Lord, but my dad, though, for a long time in his life, got lost in drugs and some bad things. He wasn’t the leader that I needed him to be so I had to face the world a little bit on my own and try to figure things out on my own. I had to become my own mentor which didn’t work all that well, sometimes, but as I finally started to get a clear vision of what God was calling me to do which is what I do today - the ministry of music, I started really to hone in on it in college and I started to recognize that of all the things I did in my life, this was the one thing that brought me pure joy. Not only did it bring me pure joy, but it also brought forth fruit, you know, and as I got ready to step into that, all of a sudden I was cut off by my parents who really felt like is was not a promising future and that there were too many risks involved in music.

They gave me the option - they said, you can either play your music or you can go to school. There would be no other option. They said, you cannot go to school and play music.

I had to go to God with that. This was a life-changing decision - music ministry or college. If you go to school, you have a future that’s going to be secure. Do I walk the road that is wide, or do I take the narrow path? It’s not always easy. The obvious answer was to forget music, there’s absolutely no promise in that. But God’s answer was don’t do what you seem to look at as the path of least resistance. God’s answer was: Follow Me - and I did.

 Looking back, as I walked into that situation, it was one of those moments when I really had to decide: Ok, has God really called me to this, and if so, am I really going to follow through and walk away from everything that I’ve know my whole life. I prayed with some friends and I decided ok, music is my whole heart, it’s my whole life, and I’m going for it.

My parents kicked me out and I was on my own. Funny though, how it was a ministry that I wanted to do, and it was still something I was facing a huge trial in. It’s one thing to have people that are friends, or maybe even people outside of the circle get on you and say it’s stupid, it doesn’t make any sense, but when your parents do that, you really have to decide if it’s really God or if it’s not. And I’ll tell you, I struggled for a long time, but through that struggle I watched God prove Himself faithful over and over again, and today, seven years since that huge incident, my parents are my biggest supporters by far. My dad will call me and he’ll ask me, “How ya doin’ son?” And I’ll say, “man, I’m worn out today” and I’ll tell him what I’m dealing with, and dad will quote me the lyrics from my songs to lift me up.

There’s always a better way
There’s always a bridge that needs crossing
There’s always the straight and the narrow
The wide and the shallow
But I know that You’re guiding me
And the best is yet to come
You’ve given me hope for tomorrow
And I know someday
I’ll wake up to find
Your glory defined

                                            - Glory Defined

When we’re on stage I like to share this quote from Nelson Mandela:

“You playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. You were born to manifest the Word of God that is within us and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same thing. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others. The question that we ask ourselves is: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually the question we should be asking is: who are we not to be? Because we are children of God. And in that when you can stand and understand that it doesn’t serve God’s purpose for us to play that we are small and have no ability. When we recognize that and we stand firmly in that, we see the world in a totally different light. You’re not arrogant but you’re confident. That’s just where we stand.”

We need to learn to utilize those words by empowering people. The first time I walked on the court after the assault and after God’s healing, it was a different game. I was still every bit as good a ballplayer I was before, but for the first time in my life, I found myself becoming someone who could empower. If somebody made a great shot or somebody did a stupid mistake, all of a sudden I was the guy telling them, man, no big deal, you’re good, you’re doing great, just keep playing.

I watched people’s lives change because of that, and that same thing applies today as we walk into situations as a band. My focus, and the band’s focus, is letting people know they are good and they are loved. We don’t have to worry about all our mistakes because they were taken care of on the cross.

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